Jaxon lowered his hand and chuckled. “I’m sure that is no easy feat.”
It feels like Jaxon was able to move on a little too quickly/easily from that revelation. It feels like anyone would be given pause by learning something so extensive happened to them.
Maybe if he was replied to the doctor, but wasn't laughing. Maybe he cod be described as taking it all in as the doctor is speaking about the general and Jaxon says something like, "That sounds about right," still pondering how such extensive repair was even possible.
Thanks for letting me read this!
It is certainly interesting. You have a good hook!
plane blew up into a million pieces five months ago
It feels odd thst the doctor uses his exact words from his conversation with the secretary.
“My brain is still trying to digest things. I should be dead. I did not eject from a plane that is in a million pieces. I am sure I didn’t.”
And she had said the memorial was five months ago. Would there be a delay? Might the memorial have been only 4 months ago?
But if it is incidental the doctor saying "a million pieces" then maybe don't give him the exact words.
But if it is your intention that the doctor is using his exact words, maybe indicate that... whose plane blew into a 'million pieces' five months ago.
But why could he not remember what had made him give up on God and everything his family had instilled in him?
Again, good sentiment feels forced in.
Maybe switch the order?
...what could have made him move away from everything his family had instilled in him, including God?
Something like that.
before they try further digging in my head.”
Consider digging further in or digging in
They talked in English and you would answer back in the foreign language even while you
Consider: They spoke in English or They were speaking English
but you answered in a foreign
Or
but you answered them in a foreign
The nurses couldn’t place it, but we’re sure you weren’t talking gibberish.
Did you mean "were sure"? Or "we were sure"?
Jaxon arched a brow. “Irish.”
When speaking of the language, Gaelic or Irish Gaelic would be more appropriate I'm pretty sure.
Jaxon lowered his hand and chuckled. “I’m sure that is no easy feat.”
It feels like Jaxon was able to move on a little too quickly/easily from that revelation. It feels like anyone would be given pause by learning something so extensive happened to them.
Maybe if he was replied to the doctor, but wasn't laughing. Maybe he cod be described as taking it all in as the doctor is speaking about the general and Jaxon says something like, "That sounds about right," still pondering how such extensive repair was even possible.
I learned my crash happened five months ago, but I can’t explain why that feels right.”
You've mentioned a couple times that the length of time seems right. It felt awkward both times. Consider:
That feels right, but I don't know why.
Otherwise, it is confusing why he would state that it seems right. He might say something if it didn't feel right for some reason, but it does.
felt sure of a rescue before the impact,
Consider "he had been rescued" or something similar.
Or "he was rescued"
“I remember something dark and swerving not to fly into it.
Consider some kind of break between dark... and swerving.
Or, maybe "I remember swerving to avoid hitting something dark."